There are always two sets of priorities because there are two people. Fighting means both people matter. Fighting over petty matters often means there are larger, unacknowledged truths underneath. Fighting all the time is just as unproductive as not fighting at all.
The ones who cater too much have to learn to pay attention to their anger instead of subverting it. The ones who have things going their way need to recognize something is amiss. Find out if the other person is willing to negotiate, problem solve and recognize there are two sets of values to work through. If two people are in a relationship there are two sets of wants.
More than in four in five people in the survey said poor communication played a role in their last failed relationship. Topics Valentine's Day Relationships news. Reuse this content. When researchers from the University of Michigan and Penn State University followed more than 1, adults for more than a week, they found that while people felt better on the day they avoided an argument, the next day they had diminished psychological well-being and increased cortisol, which can lead to weight gain, mood swings, and trouble sleeping.
Short-term gain, long-term pain. When we avoid conflict, we miss the opportunity to help our relationship improve. Without arguments there is no progress.
Studies have found that avoiding conversations now means making the relationship worse later. A study found that when partners avoided important relationship topics, they had worse communication, were less happy, and were less dedicated to their relationship seven weeks later. Not only that, but when we avoid conflict we miss the opportunity to help our relationship improve. So most couples need to argue more, not less.
With that in mind, we should embrace frequent low-stakes disagreements and occasional arguments and have few, if any, big confrontations. For the good of the relationship, every argument needs to start the same way: Partners need to give each other the benefit of the doubt. If the problems are more mundane for ex. W hen it comes to relationships , conflict is inevitable. Couples can disagree and, yes, even fight while still showing compassion and respect for each other, according to psychologists.
That said, frequent heated and hurtful conflict is certainly not healthy or sustainable, either. You can have conflicts with your partner in a constructive way, and it may actually bring you closer together, according to a paper published by the Society for Personality and Social Psychology.
Researchers found that expressing anger to a romantic partner caused the short-term discomfort of anger, but also incited honest conversations that benefited the relationship in the long run.
If you want to navigate conflict with your partner in a healthier and more productive way, keep these things in mind during your next argument :. This likely leads to one partner accusing the other of not caring about them, and the other partner feeling attacked.
Instead, Ostrander encourages couples to pinpoint what triggers this repetitive fight, and try out ways to compromise instead of allowing the conflict to erupt.
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